Who Would Your Dream Receptionist Be?
If you could choose anyone in the world to be your receptionist, you would want someone with a powerful voice and a personality to match. After all, they’ll more often than not be the first person any potential clients meet. You need someone who will not only make a good first impression, but will also be a good communicator.
With that in mind, we have chosen some distinctive voices that would be perfectly suited to the role…
Everyone, drop what you’re doing and listen. Patrick Stewart is talking and literally nothing else in the world is more important than what he has to say. A powerful voice with a certain warmth to it that inspires trust, the voice behind Picard is both Shakespearian and incredibly, whimsically dramatic. When it comes from Patrick Stewart, it is never truly bad news and if he says he’ll take care of a matter, you know he’ll make it so. Getting him to answer phones at a cockney building firm, however, might not be the best for branding. Or mightn’t it… ?
Christopher Lee is the official voice of Death so if he speaks, you better stand up and pay attention. He is tall, slightly daunting, possibly immortal and will banish you from the premises if you cause any problems. But play by his rules and you know that whatever is waiting beyond will certainly be worth it.
Brian Blessed is known for his deep booming voice. In fact, it is the only sound that can be heard in the vacuum of space and when he answers the phone, it takes you a moment to realise that you’re not even connected – it’s coming to you live. He is also a boxing, judo & mountaineering expert, so can easily handle even the hairiest of situations. Unfortunately, he lost his job at the children’s hospital when he offended some parents visiting their son Gordon.
Unfortunately, Sean Connery had to leave the receptionist business due to every client genuinely believing him to be James Bond. Those who came to the office in person were in for a different surprise when they discovered that he’ll only work in his Zardoz costume. An incredibly husky, sexy voice, mind – female clients would rather he sat in on meetings in the future.
This was… this just didn’t work out at all. Does anyone even know what he was saying? Whose idea was this?
James Earl Jones
From Darth Vader to Mufasa, James Earl Jones’ range is seemingly endless so he would probably take to this new role very well. Of course, it may come as a shock to people on the phone if the line happens to be a bit crackly when he answers, but then if Darth Vader organises a meeting for you, there’s no way you’ll stand him up.
Get busy living, or get busy answering the phone. The official voice of God, few people can do better voice-overs than Morgan Freeman, who has the power to narrate life as it happens, possibly influencing events as he goes. With a voice full of wistful nostalgia, anyone who speaks to him will be moved to tears, which is, I think, a good thing. Possibly.
The late, great Don LaFontaine provided those iconic gravelly movie trailer voice-overs and his voice was so powerful and influential, you would see anything he’d hyped up. He’d be perfect on the phone:
“In a world where clients and receptionists collide, one man is about to find out the ultimate answer to his enquiry.”
“Hello? I have a meeting this afternoon and I was wondering if it would be possible to reschedule.”
“When your time is about to run out, sometimes you have to make the ultimate sacrifice and move the meeting to tomorrow.”
“That should be fine, I’ll just check my diary…”
“In a world of uncertainty, one man must make the ultimate decision that will determine his fate…”
Poor Cheryl Cole, she has a perfectly nice Geordie accent and they expected her to give it up to pander to American audiences? She’ll do well as a receptionist over here at least, being all friendly and chatty, although any incoming calls from overseas may need to be redirected.
Samuel L Jackson
Samuel L Jackson knows how to shout and when he does, it can be intimidating and motivational in equal measure. Lesser clients will run away and hide somewhere but those who hang around will certainly do what he says. Be careful though, he may turn on you and end up running the entire company.
Love or hate Family Guy, you can’t deny Seth MacFarlane is a talented voice actor. In fact, he could portray a number of different characters over the phone, which would be a good way to buy some time if the client ends up in a queue. In fact, he could probably stand in for a lot of different team members.
Jeff Bridges has one of the most comforting, reassuring voices – it’s the aural equivalent of golden syrup. He would be particularly good at handling complaints because he could get away with repeating the problem back to the client and they would not only accept it as an explanation but also consider it a suitable solution, forgetting why they were ever angry in the first place.
Liam Neeson can be warm and caring and then instantly switch to cold and sadistic but the difference is so subtle, some customers may mistake his helpful advice for a serious threat. The good news is, no one will disagree with him. Ever. Plus, like any good receptionist, he has a very specific and varied set of skills.
We all know how commanding and powerful Judi Dench can be using only her voice. She made the role of M her own and would bring a very authoritative touch to the role. In fact, she could probably convince someone that they’ve been fired from their job just for making an enquiry. Once again, there is a risk that she’ll take over your company – and, let’s be honest, you’d let her do it.